A few decades ago, I met a girl at a bar in a prearranged setup, and we have been married for over 30 years. I tell you this because I want you to understand my credentials — or lack thereof — for reviewing a book about the online dating scene.
And what a scene it is: 30.4 million Americans used online dating services in 2019; almost half say they met or know someone who met a romantic interest using such platforms; and the industry last year garnered $912 million in revenue.
That’s a lot of love — or should I say a lot of love-seekers.
There are plenty who attach a stigma to using online dating services, are defensive about it, and are fixated on the perception that they partake only because they can’t find partners in more traditional ways.
That attitude is the ticket to disaster, says Darel D. Ison II, a single father who has dated hundreds of women using various online dating apps. Married and divorced three times, he has been at it for 20 years, enjoying most of it, and is here to pass on his advice from his vast experience in “The Man’s Guide for Online Dating Success” (Gatekeeper Press).
BECOME OBSESSED WITH SUCCESS
“If you want to be successful, you have to embrace it,” says Ison. “You have to become obsessed with success and adopt a positive attitude toward dating.”
Ison’s game plan is not confined to his own encounters; he solicits input from a number of female friends to validate and enhance his theories. Men who use online dating sites, says Ison, are not so much bad guys but “A lot of great guys who just don’t know how to behave in the online dating world ... My intention of this book is to expose women to great, confident men who know what they are doing.”
That requires preparation and practice in many areas: understanding the nuances of the various dating apps; presenting your “brand” in the best possible manner; selecting the right photos; writing a killer profile; perfecting the art of the message (from intro to follow-up); knowing how to chat with women online; and building a “dating funnel” of prospective dating candidates.
A NUMBERS GAME
The key, according to Ison, is to come across as “safe and approachable” and, most importantly, honest.
To Ison, online dating is a priority in his life and he encourages readers to make it the same. And coming from his sales background, he suggests that online dating is a numbers game — one that requires many leads in the pipeline at all times. That doesn’t mean giving a misleading impression to any woman, but simply keeping the field open until one’s dating objective — be it a long-term lasting relationship or something else — is fulfilled.
While “The Man’s Guide for Online Dating Success” is targeted at single men in the 35-to-45 age range, Ison’s clinical approach could provide entertaining reading for women regardless of their personal status, and even happily married men like me viewing the process from the outside.
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