No matter how good you do your job, how well you treat others, how much time you volunteer for your community or church, there will always be someone you cannot win over. For whatever reason, they have it in for you. They may even put in a lot of energy telling lies about you and trying to tarnish your reputation. Rest assured, if your character is right and you are doing the right thing, the truth will prevail.
I believe our spirits are similar to the poles of a magnet; we either are drawn together or resistant and pushing apart. Have you ever met someone and instantly had a connection; almost like you have known each other forever? On the other hand, there are people we meet and have an immediate unexplained distaste for them. No matter how much you try and like the person, you find yourself trying to keep your distance or evade them at all cost.
Trying to win everyone over and have them like you will be very challenging. It will be like chasing two rabbits at the same time. You may be capable of catching one, but it is nearly impossible to catch both. My best advice, just be you. Never try and change yourself to suit anyone else’s requirements; you will only end up disappointing both you and the person you are exhibiting a facade to.
Even Jesus knew it was impossible to win everyone over. In Matthew 10:14, He tells the disciples, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.” It becomes a futile effort when the person you are trying to gain favor with has no desire to do so. You will eventually just seem harassing.
I like the visual of shaking the dust off. To me, the dust represents the thoughts of others. Never allow the burden of what others think of you weigh you down so much that it distracts you from the positive momentum of living forward.
It is hard for some to understand not everyone will like them. When they are seemingly betrayed or can’t reach a person they want to, questions of what went wrong begin to plague the mind. In some instances, it may very well be what you did. However, there are stronger possibilities the person dislikes you for something altogether different. Some people will like you or not for a few reasons: They may like you for who you are; what you represent; what you stand for or against. There may be unknown jealousy issues. No matter, dust yourself off and move on.
When you stop trying to please everyone and just do the right thing, you will notice happiness is harder to be stolen from you. It is OK that not everyone loves you. After all, do you love everyone you come in contact with. If you are honest, the answer is no. And that is OK.
James Fansler is Lake Placid police chief. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org .