Seven long years I had prayed that if God had someone for me, I would know. Know in that way that when I met him, a stirring from within would assure me of God’s divine hand.
I also had relinquished this desire to him. Surrender in the best way I knew how.
Those long years of praying had developed a greater desire within me. To please him and do his will. While at the same time, this surrendering had actually lent credence to my heart’s dream.
It seemed the secret God was keeping could be measured in terms of what He had already revealed. He had shown his mercy, grace and power to me in so many ways. Just his keeping power alone and the peace, joy and contentment that followed showed me his heart.
It didn’t mean I couldn’t dream and come to him with my heart’s desires. But it did mean that those dreams were released to him and placed in his capable and loving hands; kept securely just for me.
Psalm 121 NKJV is a favorite of mine. Here it is in its entirety:
“I will lift up my eyes to the hills — from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
“He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.
“The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
“The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul.
“The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore.”
When the proper time had come, that secret was revealed to me when I met Ken. As single parents, we would be creating a new family … a dream exceeding our grasp … but with God’s help, full of possibilities and promises.
Deuteronomy 29: 29 says, “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and to our children forever…”
The joy and anticipation of becoming a family under his mighty hand removed any fear or anxiety as we stepped toward courtship and marriage. God had orchestrated this new relationship. He would preserve all our goings out and comings in.
Did we have our share of struggles? Yes.
But when we felt overwhelmed, we returned to that secure place … to God, our keeper.