Like everything else this year, it seemed as though the 2020 NFL season might never arrive.
But here we are at the first Sunday of the season and it’s time to make some really bad guesses about the upcoming season.
Here are 20 (mostly ridiculous) predictions for the 2020 season.
1. Cleveland Browns’ quarterback Baker Mayfield will continue to produce more commercials than victories for the second straight year.
2. The battle between the Jets and the Giants for the title of the best team in New York will be won handily by the Buffalo Bills.
3. Detroit Lions running back Adrian Peterson will retire in October when he realizes that he’s actually eligible for social security.
4. Speaking of the Lions, Matt Patricia becomes the first NFL coach of the 2020 season to be fired, shocking fans, players and even owner Sheila Ford Hamp, all of whom thought he was fired last season.
5. The Dallas Cowboys will resign Dak Prescott, giving them a dominant trio (along with Ezekiel Elliott and Amari Cooper) of young skill position players for years to come.
6. Miami’s quarterback Tua Tagovailoa has his rookie campaign sidetracked when he misses several games after getting tangled up in Ryan Fitzpatrick’s beard.
7. Cincinnati’s Joe Burrow, the first overall pick, realizes how much tougher it is to win games without an offensive line, good coaching or depth at the skill positions.
8. The NFC West will be the class of the league as the Niners, Rams, Seahawks and Cardinals (barely) all make the playoffs.
9. The Washington football team finally settles on a nickname, selecting one that best describes the current state of the franchise: the Washington Perennial Disappointments.
10. Cam Newton will be a pleasant surprise in New England, giving the Patriots a completely different look at quarterback. It won’t be enough, given the number of Pats who have opted out this season.
11. Bill Belichick will find a way to “work the system” enough to get his team into the postseason. He will glare in anger at anyone who dares to mention it.
12. The Jacksonville Jaguars will continue to trade any player who shows promise. Gardner Minshew will continue to be awesome. He will be replaced next year by Trevor Lawrence.
13. Chiefs running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire steals Offensive Rookie of the Year honors from quarterbacks Burrows and Tua, while Washington’s Chase Young runs away with defensive Rookie of the Year honors.
14. Speaking of the Chiefs, after spending weeks wandering around Kansas City, coach Andy Reid will finally get his face shield cleaned off in time to lead his team back to the Super Bowl.
15. In furthering their attempt to recreate the New England Patriots of the 2010s, the Tampa Bay Bucs will sign running back Danny Woodhead.
16. Of their two big offseason moves former Pat Tom Brady will work out great, benefiting from a talented receiving corps and getting just enough time for the revamped offensive line.
17. The other former Patriot, Rob Gronkowski, won’t fare as well with his previous injuries and his one year layoff taking more of a toll on his body than anticipated. He’s only 31, but will play older.
18. Brady will play well enough to lead the Bucs to the NFC title game, but their young secondary won’t be enough to allow Tampa Bay to host a hometown Super Bowl.
19. Drew Brees will finally get the New Orleans Saints over the hump and back to the Super Bowl.
20. The Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes will repeat as Super Bowl champs.